LET YOUR CONSCIENCE BE YOUR GUIDE

i made a very impromptu visit to see MrRocker last week (first SD i ever met from the sites). it was just a casual get-together.. in my mind i knew there would be no sex or anything, considering we're more of friends and not in an arrangement. when we were laying out pool-side we started talking about an interesting topic: SDs of course.. lol. he asked me if i was still involved in being a SB. me being a bit inebriated at this point, i told him basically all about my arrangement with Lawyer and how he's married. welllll, MrRocker was rather shocked i had involved myself with a married man. he went into this long spiel about how he had seen girls like me get involved with those type of men at my age and then he meets them 5+ years later and they despise men now, this being because they saw/see what pigs these men are - they have committed themselves to their wife but fuck younger women behind her back. it kind of hit a soft spot in me when he told me this.. and ever since i have been on the hunt now for MrLawyer MINUS the wifey!
i know i want to truely be able to love a man in the future and be 110% confident he loves me just as much. i'd be the 30-something year old wife and i dont want to have to worry about my husband fucking some 20-something year old when he's away on "business". so the search is in full force now and i already have a great pot! :) no details now about him until its fully established we will meet. he's single though, that i will say, and seems very, very generous!
and on a random note - aother guy i was e-mailing from one of the sites offered to give me money via PayPal to prove that he's "serious/real". okay, well he sends me the money (a little over $300) and POOF! lmao like really? hey i mean im not complaining because i basically got money for nothing but so strange it was that he gives me money then stops e-mailing.. whatever though more $ to add to the sugar pot ;) x3

ps- ladies please dont think i am trying to criticise anyone for being with a married man! they are definitely the better prospects for serious SDs (like i've written in a past post)... i just have a guilt problem i guess and am too firm a believer in karma to do it myself at this time in my life. maybe i'll end up with another married man again one of these days... who ever knows in the world of sugarrr x3