SO YOU TALKED THE BIG 'A'

....now what? since mine and MrLawyers meet got postponed due to unexpected commitments on his part, i'm going to write a quick little, my p.o.v., post on asking for and getting a dependable and consistent ALLOWANCE!.... which ultimately is the main reason why 99% of us SBs decide to even take on the sugar world.
i am finally in the situation where i am now receiving monthly payments from my SD. even now though, there are still questions to be answered which is just a given when u are dealing with 2 people from completely different worlds and *ahem* age groups. the main quality to look for in a pot who can be dependable for a constant allowance is usually the (A) married man or (B) pot who gives u cash on the very first meet. i say this because when meeting MrLawyer he gave me $400 for just having lunch with him (and yes he is married too). the only other time i have received money on a first meet was from TheRussian, another married man.

so once u have seen if the pot is very generous financially and u have decided yall are compatible enough, the next step is to ask for that ideal amount u expect from an arrangement with him. if the man is familiar with the SD/SB concept then usually he is the one who first brings this convo up. if he does not and u have continued to see him for 2-3 meets u MUST have this talk otherwise u are risking allowing too much time to pass by, enabling the SD to assume he does not have to pay up which is a bigggg NO-NO! since this is naturally a very awkward conversation, a nice little e-mail bringing up the topic is appropriate.
if the SD right away acts flustered and makes u feel like u are being rude or unfair for even bringing the 'A-word' up... DROP HIM! i mean ppl may have different opinions and may say i'm being too harsh but this is my opinion: there are sooooo many SDs out there more than willing and capable to pay u a monthly allowance why even deal with a guy who is going to make the process difficult and even more awkward??? exactly.

when deciding an amount to ask, Sarah Sugarbaby gave me good advice saying total up all your bills, financial obligations, etc. and double that number to decide your amount. being a SB is about being able to spend money without worries so u want more than just what u need - u need some spending money for the important things like shopping and pedicures! lol.

if the SD obliges (which he should as long as u are not asking an exhorbitant amount) u then have to decide what will be the best way to receive your funds. experienced SDs will probably already have a way they are already comfortable with to do this. u should specify also whether u want all your amount upfront (like the 1st of the month), getting half in the beginning of the month and half near the end, or per meet payment. after talking it out with MrLawyer, he made me realize that receiving my month's allowance all up front on the 1st of every month is the best way to do it. that way if we can only see eachother once per month for whatever reason, i still get all my money.... compared to per meet where we may unexpectedly not see one another one month and i get screwed over bc i dont get all my money when i need/want it.

so now u have established the amount u want and when u will receive it, but now u have to figure out how u will actually go about getting the cash from his wallet to your bank account. at first MrLawyer and i did the whole he gives me cash every time we meet (pay per meet). recently though he suggested i set up a bank account so he can transfer funds to it at the first of every month. when he had to cancel on our meet i had already bought my plane ticket - so he put money to cover my unused ticket plus a little extra to cover my allowance even though we couldnt meet - perfection haha. usually the SD will have a preference of bank he can easily access to deposit funds. i ended up opening a new account at a bank i had never used in the past which is fine because i will only be using the account for my SB allowance and dont have to worry about my personal money being accessed or getting mixed up with the sugar cash : )

-i hope this helps somewhat! MrLawyer is my first dependable, real SD who gives me an allowance. but who knows.. maybe my opinion will change again. but as of now im getting the big-'A' so theres gotta be some facts to my opinion hehe x3